I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
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