i was rollin on her like bob the builder
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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