his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
