I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
