Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
