wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize