I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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