I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
