Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
