she pinky promised me she was 18
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
