Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
