Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
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