I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
