He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
