i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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