remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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