He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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