Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
