singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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