yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
