Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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