Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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