I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
