proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Randomize
