the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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