a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
