We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
So much rum. So many feels.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
