she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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