Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
