The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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