whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
