somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
