just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
