I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize
