i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
