Got a toothbrush?
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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