i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
