and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I could fuck to npr.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Randomize
