I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I'm both gender and math confused
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
