his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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