i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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