I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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