Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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