You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
