Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
