College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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