After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Still dying that you shit outside
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
