Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Randomize
