you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
