Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Less talking, more tequila
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
