i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Randomize
