My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Randomize
